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Spotted: Serena in an Elf suit.

Oh my effing God, what is Serena wearing? She looks like she is missing some pointy ears, suede boots and a bow. I suppose I know nothing of New York “run-a-way” fashion, but seriously, the Elf look is so retro these days.

Lately, I’ve been immersed in Gossip Girl drama, mostly out of respite from Lost, Dexter and quite possibly even Mad Men. I caught up on GG Season One promptly after having had heard about this show from a friend and was hooked. Nearly as good as Laguna Beach circa Season 1, but not as good as The O.C., I was left with the impression that this show could be as trashy and vindictive a show as its California counterparts.

Season 1 was good, up until a point. I knew they could only recycle the already tired story of on-again, off-again lusting of awkward-boy Humphrey and the delicate diva Serena. But they started losing my attention when everyone– and I mean everyone — started having sex on the show. Upper East New York turned into a snooze town of harlots and wanna-bes.

Come on guys, start injecting more of that pseudo-reality TV spunk that LB had. I mean, really. Does anyone even seriously believe The Hills is truly nonfiction?

Season 2 is on its way with its 5th boring episode and still nothing to show for it. What this show could use is more diversity. The token Asian girl is a stereo-typical nerd that listens to Flo Rida. How cliche! Throw a few more Southeast Asians in the mix, and you can guarantee that comedy will ensue. Hey producers! Pony up for a cameo appearance by John Cho! Nothing makes for real entertainment like a few Koreans.

Last week I wrote a post about Laguna Beach, the MTV quasi-reality tv show that I got hooked on. Recently, I read an article that debunked everything “real” about that show. These kids are being coached by the producers! It was all a scam! I feel so betrayed. Teased even, but then again I probably walked right into it, seeing as I was so willing to believe in the magic. This reminds me of the time I found out that Blair Witch wasn’t real.

Perhaps it was just the film-quality veneer of the show that made it so appealing. Or the general, heart-warming nostalgia. I swear I’d gone to highschool with the exact same kids, only these ones are richer and better looking. Maybe just because sometimes I just love the juice. The gossip, the backstabbing and the cat-fights. Some of them aren’t even rich; one lives in a trailer park and I keep seeing flashes of black hair. Could it be, could there be a Chino lurking around in Laguna Beach?

Well, now that I know it’s all fake, I’ll probably just keep season one and re-watch it over and over and pretend that it’s me in there, only richer and better looking. By the way, WTF happened to Lindsay Lohan? Is that really her or just her stunt double? (Yes, I really did spend the whole night catching up on my teen gossip)

Twenty-six years ago, I almost ended up in California. It was a close call, but to think that I coud’ve been in the O.C. just completely threatens my existence. I would’ve been so amped to have grown up there, but would I have turned out any different than I am now? I watch Laguna Beach almost religiously, as though it was my own highschool experience, but the fact is that I didn’t have the same highschool experience that they did. Sure, I was dying to get out of a small town, just as they are, but it’s a world apart from what I had gone through.

The show is completely transparent, and either it’s brilliantly simplistic or pure smut in all its glory. But as it is, there is genius in simplicity. You will either love it for it’s subtle undertones or hate it for its blatant simplicity and airheadedness; once you watch it, you will feel the same nervousness and the same awkwardness that you felt when you were a teenager. Their unapologetic (and generally contradictory) dialogue brings about a stark truthfulness that is perfectly accompanied by a soundtrack that embellishes every movement of being a teenager.

The fascination of this group of teens almost makes me feel guilty for enjoying it. And as for LC, I almost want to reach out and slap the ho for not seeing what is obvious. Can’t she understand that there’s other guys out there, like me, that would treat her so much better than Stephen would? Maybe one day, she’ll realise this and call me; my phone is forever on vibrate.

One thing’s for certain, these kids are incredibly fortunate to have their youths documented on film and perhaps embellished and built up but it still bears a ringing resemblance to my own childhood and to the feel-good times of our lives. Highschool may have been hell when you went through it, but looking back at it over an eleven-episode serial, it can pull you back to those times and make you wish you had a second chance at it.